|
My loves [three teenage children],
It is you who have been at the heart of my adult life. Choosing to be Dad's partner in
your becoming, from conception to young adulthood, has been fundamental to most of my
decisions and has been at the root of a very fulfilling life.
I expect that I will be around for a long time and that I will continue to do what I
have always done with you, which is to keep the appropriate balance of holding you close
and letting you go. What I have tried to do, together with Dad, is to give you the most solid
base we could - of family, of home, of summer places, of schooling. Layered on top of that
we have tried to give you freedom to try out life on your own terms. It has been an elastic,
evolving balance of giving roots and wings, of providing freedom within a structure.
Sometimes you and we have differed on the degree and nature of the structure necessary!
And I suspect there still will be differences well into the future - but such is the give/take,
push/pull of the whole business and of the nature of love itself.
Whether I am present or not, I hope that as you live out your own lives you can
maintain the balance of the familiar and the unfamiliar by creating a solid base from which
you can securely approach your options and enjoy what you have created. The most
important thing that I can bequeath to you is something that I hope I have already given
you: a deep conviction of your own worth that translates into personal standards and
instincts that will steer you in your relationships, inspire you to believe yourself to be a fully
contributing citizen of the world, and enable you to create your own version of "home."
Along these lines, I hope you each will:
Stay connected to Dad and me and with each other. You are securely part of a family, but
don't take the relationships for granted. Know what is going on each other's lives, in
Dad's and my lives. Your ties to each other will be the longest ties you have - keep
them well nourished; purposefully keep track of each other's emotional well being;
provide support for each other in good times and difficult times.
Connect with your grandparents while they are alive - seek them out, write them, visit them,
read what they have written. You will always be glad you did.
Maintain a sense of being part of an extended family of many branches. Nurture your
relationships with your cousins and aunts and uncles. Tell the family stories to each
other and to the next generations. Make sure the family records and writings are
kept intact and passed down.
|
